Waking

Do any of you know the person of my dreams? S/he keeps eluding me in waking life.

I am ready. I swear I am. I know how to be good, now. I won't make the mistakes of the past. No more waiting for the other person to love me first. No more clever intellectual posturing. Oh, I am so awake I can hear my own mind humming.

I know this much about my dream lover. We are meant to live in an apartment and cook crazy vegan fare. This tastes the way the woods smell after it rains and the streams swell. We love listening to music sitting across from each other on the bare floor with the lights off, not talking. This feels like wearing converse sneakers without socks. I like to put my hands under the back of his/her t-shirt. This is like eyelashes brushing your cheek. S/he loves piggyback rides, which I give out liberally. This is like running with horses through the tall grass. All the things I have to say come flowing out in continuously lucid paragraphs when we are together. This is like the wind that sweeps you up while standing next to a speeding train. S/he knows when I am being too serious and I know when s/he is being too indignantly righteous. This is like using your leg muscles to stop your end of the teeter-totter from crashing on the ground. We love each other. We want to grow up together. This is like holding sweaty hands with your best buddy in kindergarten while crossing the street, unconscious of hands or sweat.

I am making room for you. From now on I will buy everything for two, like a pregnant woman. I will plan on growing in unexpected ways like a tree with grafted limbs. Cut me open and tie yourself to me. It won't hurt a bit.